Terrorizing the Low-Maintenance Boyfriend: A Lesson in Eyebrow Waxing


To hear my boyfriend tell it, I, “came at [him] with a pair of tweezers.” This statement implies two things. First, his words suggest an attack movement on my part, however the plucking was done with love and care. Second, it’s not like I didn’t warn him by saying, “Sit tight–I’ll be right back with my tweezers.”

Let me tell you a little about Mike: Ex-Marine. Quarterback. Basketball shorts. Despite a successful career in toughness, Mike’s kind heart affords him the tolerance to withstand my “torturous” whims– which brings us back to brow maintenance.

I combed and trimmed his brows with ease and marveled at how this step makes such an amazing difference every time–especially on men. Aestheticians, including myself, do this before plucking or waxing; combing brows upward and trimming offers instant results and low risk to ruining their shape. However, the tweezers pushed Mike over the edge.

“Just let me wax them,” I offered.

He retorted, “Hell no!”

“But this is my job. I do this for a living- waxing is way easier than tweezing.”

“No.”

“But you get pedicures…”

He growled, “That’s for the [leg] massage! No.”

Boyfriends and beaus past always accepted my brow maintenance attempts with quiet reserve and surrender. Mike’s resistance presented a new challenge and I silently vowed I’d get to wax those brows. Later, I casually mentioned the football coach who is a body waxing client. “No.” I told him I wouldn’t do a complete brow design, but would only clean them up. “No.”

He called his mother to say hello and tattle about how wicked I was for daring to tweeze three eyebrow hairs. She told him, flatly, that her husband waxed regularly. Although Mike raised a bushy brow in consideration, he maintained the “devil wax” wouldn’t leave the Honee pot.

A few hours later, I was offered the deal of a lifetime when Mike bartered information for brows. My eyes lit up. “So, if I tell you, you’ll really let me wax them?”

“Yes.”

High levels of testosterone, as found in males, generally indicate a surplus in hair growth. The hair is often thick, coarse, and dark. Unless you’re a Doctor, an Aesthetician, or work for Animal Control, don’t look at the next photo if you’re eating. One, lower-brow swipe did a world of good in the low-maintenance man’s brow routine:

When I swiped the wax across his lower brow bone, he commented that the warm wax was soothing. When I pulled the strip, Mike said the pain was nowhere near what he anticipated. In fact, it really didn’t hurt. We might go for a full-fledged brow design next time, but I considered our session a success:

WINNING!!!!