Terrorizing the Low Maintenance Boyfriend: A Trip to the Beauty Supply


As previously mentioned, my boyfriend, Mike isn’t exactly salon savvy (although he’s no stranger to the barber shop). After working a sixty hour week, we used his day off to run errands. While cruising down the street, a beauty supply shop caught my eye.

“I need to stop in there real quick,” I said as I hung a sharp right.

“Where?”

“The beauty supply– you don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.”

He raised his eyebrows. “No, I’ll go with you.” Mike is the sweetest type of boyfriend who will follow you to hell and back– just because you’re feeling needy or codependent.

My running list included: Hair cholesterol, 2 pumice stones, 1 nail buffer, 1 nail file, pink nail polish, and topcoat.

Although I moved swiftly to the hair masque section, Mike stopped and stared in a state of quizzical wonder. His eyes followed the shelves up and down and I smiled to myself and grasped a tan colored jar.

“What’s that?”

“Cholesterol.” I explained, “It’s like, super-duper strong conditioner.”

He followed me to the next aisle. “Why don’t you just use eggs in your hair?”

I said, “Because I’m a feminist.”

“What?”

“Never mind. Why would I use eggs when I can just use cholesterol?”

He eyed the price tag. “It seems cheaper.”

“That’s old fashioned. My grandma and her sorority sisters used to do that.”

Mike’s eyes glazed over as we perused the bountiful nail shaping supplies and he dialed his best friend. He said, “Hey, man! Guess where I am right now?” Pause. “Nope. At the beauty supply store with Ashley.” Pause. Laugh. Pause. “She needs hair cholesterol.” When I motioned, Mike stuck out his pinky and allowed me to test two lacquers on his unpolished nails. I held up the bottles and he picked 80s pink over a bubblegum color. “Cholesterol? Oh, it’s like an intense conditioner.” Pause. Mike moved the receiver away from his mouth. “He says you should just put eggs in your hair!”

I rolled my eyes.